That's certainly how I get by. I think most of us do. And during this month of thankfulness (Are people again offering thirty days of platitudinous comments of gratitude on Facebook? Yawn.), I was inspired to sincerely reflect on my friendships. I'm grateful for my family, of course, but we don't pick our families. You get what you get and you're happy with it! Friends, on the other hand, are carefully chosen and mine constantly remind me why I chose them.
My Lori
We met each other in fifth grade in Mrs. Cooper's homeroom. We became friends the first day of school in a class full of slackers, misfits, and class clowns. At least we (two awkward nerds) had each other. We stuck together through high school with hardly ever an argument. If we disagreed, it was sure to be my fault as Lori is above average in every way. She's brilliant; she went to Carnegie Mellon and is now an architect. She's also highly virtuous. Lori knows what matters most, and if a particular viewpoint isn't the popular choice, she takes it anyway. And I follow her because she is good at teaching me what matters most. She's witty. She's funny. I have eight yearbooks that she signed, always mentioning the same inside joke about the horrid bridesmaid dress she would force me to wear at her wedding. I am anxiously waiting for Elizabeth to find her Lori. Until then, I'm paying it forward by trying to be the best Lori for her. Lori and I don't see each other often, but we are still very much in other's lives. We keep in touch in the best of ways--with handwritten notes on birthdays and homemade cookies at Christmas. And that bridesmaid dress was gorgeous.
My Jill
I've known Jill since our daughters were babies. She lived two doors down from us, but I hadn't talked to her until Halloween night 2003. Elizabeth was just a few weeks old and crying uncontrollably just about every evening, including that night. Jill carried Lauren (dressed as an adorable ladybug) to our door and, new mom to new mom, we bonded. I asked her how old her baby was, and when she told me Lauren was five months old I thought to myself, Wow. Five months. She must really know what she's doing by now. Since then, we neighbors (though she's moved--sniff, sniff!) offered each other more than the occasional cup of sugar or spare egg. We've led Girl Scout troops and served on PTO boards together, shared recipes and food, exercised together on Saturday mornings, and now she graciously picks up my kids after school and watches them if I'm working at a school with a later dismissal bell. I've heard Jill say that people come into your life for a reason. I'm pretty sure I came into hers to stress her out, but her calm demeanor, bright outlook, and helpfulness certainly bring a much needed element of tranquility to my life.
My Janette
My friend Janette is always smiling. She's friendly and bubbly and seems to always be in a good mood. She's told me that she's not, but it's hard to picture her angry. On Saturdays she makes us laugh at workout sessions, brightens the conversation over coffee, and because she's a few years younger than us, makes us feel like we're not so old. Early thirties? Kids in preschool? That wasn't so long ago.
My Aimee
If ever there was someone who could be my sister, it's Aimee. Though we have a few differences (politics, religion, guns--okay we have major differences but we never talk about those!), we are oddly similar in so many ways. At school, people confuse us on just about a daily basis. It's okay; we're used to it. And if I was going to be confused with anyone, I'd want it to be Aimee. And maybe Jennifer Garner. I digress. Aimee and I have seen each other at our absolute worst, yet we still care for and love each other. In fact, we know so much about each other that sometimes we have to speak in code around others. As a result, we've developed clever nicknames for nearly all our mutual acquaintances. She's there for me when I'm low--texting, calling, or showing up with chocolate, wine, advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. She's also there to cheer me on and celebrate my highs. She's my soul sister.
My Kathy
Kathy loves fun and games, and she's the one who proves there's nothing wrong with a little silliness. Who else can crack me up at 11:30 pm on a dark, chilly night in the desert when I'm waiting to run 7.5 miles in less than one hour? I will never forget the moment we were lying in the tent giggling like preteens at the absurdity of Ragnar Trail. She's just about the most fun person I know, and reminds me that you don't have to take everything so seriously. When something's not going her way, she pauses to ask herself, "What's the worst that can happen?" I've found that remarkably helpful for finding perspective. She's also a talented and accomplished musician, and I have a lot of respect for her hard work and admire her for passing along her passion to those she teaches.
My Candi
I will never cross Candi. I always want her in my corner. She is one tough broad, but when push comes to shove, every punch she's thrown (honestly!) or harsh word she's spoken has been out of love. She's no bully. She's the one who will stand up to the bully and fight for the people she cares about. There's a lot of love in her heart.
My Jennifer
Jennifer is another close friend I made when it felt like I could relate to no one else. Among the MOMS Club crowd, Jennifer and I were most definitely the black sheep. After awhile, we cut our losses and got the heck outta dodge. Together. MOMS Club served its purpose; it gave me Jennifer. A therapist and social worker by trade, she helps me see things in clearer ways, and she gets my mind to places it probably never could get to without her guidance and insights. She's also very influential, for better or worse. "Let's walk a half marathon!" "Let's do the 3-Day!" "Let's do triathlons!" Okay. Okay. Okay. She believes in me when I don't, talks me down when I'm distressed, and gets on her hands and knees to help me pick up the pieces when I crash and burn. Because of her, I do what I should after first asking myself, WWJD?
My Holli
If you have a lot of work that needs to be done right, call Holli. If you win tickets to a concert that starts in an hour and is forty-five minutes away, call Holli. She'll do anything to help you, and she'll also drop everything to go have fun with you. She's that perfect blend of no-nonsense and nonsense, and I love it. No one can get a ton of work accomplished and have as much fun doing it as Holli can. She and her family are moving to Wisconsin at the end of this school year, and words can't express how devastated all her friends here are. I think we're going to make like Holli by working hard to throw her an awesome going-away party.
My Susan
Though I've seen her angry once, there isn't much that upsets my friend Susan. She's unflappable and as cool as a cucumber in the worst of situations, which is really a plus in her line of work--teaching special education students. She's the teacher who signed up for this for all the right reasons. Fifteen or twenty years later, the work is harder, the hours are longer, yet she's still doing it for no one but her students. She cares. She also has peace running through her veins. She not only looks like a yoga teacher, but she adds that same sense of serenity to any conversation, and if you're looking for a bright side, Susan will show it to you. She sees the good in everything and everyone.
My Julie
If I could be anyone in mind, body, and spirit, it's Julie. Alas she is one of a kind, but she's an inspiration. Though an avid runner who comes in first a lot, she usually puts herself last. She's quite honestly the most selfless person I know, and yet she is sincerely content. She and her family are the epitome of happiness and love. They show that togetherness may not always be easy, but the challenge is definitely worth it. Julie has a very nurturing presence and always seems to know exactly what to say to someone whether they are in a state of triumph or despair. If that's not enough, her flexibility and her ability to adapt to change (whether gradual or sudden) is off the charts. Simply said, Julie makes me and everyone around her want to be a better person.
I realize I'm fortunate to have such great friends and such solid friendships. For that, I am thankful.
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