Words Hurt

My Elizabeth is a great kid.  She's an excellent student, kind and polite, and very sensible for staying out of the gossip and drama that surrounds her in fifth grade.  She brought home a friend a few weeks ago, and I asked about their day.  Her friend went on and on about how "_____ did this...so _____ got angry...now they're not talking to each other...and _____ told me not to talk to _____...and I told her that I can make my own decisions about who I want to talk to and....."  The story went on for awhile.  When it was over I looked at Elizabeth; she said very matter-of-factly and with a giggle and shrug of her shoulders, "I didn't know about any of that."  I'm glad for it.  There are times, though, when the mean-girlness finds her and, like anyone who's been the target of ridicule or shame, her feelings are hurt.  I remind her often that she can tell me anything, but I know she doesn't like sharing when her friends aren't acting like friends.  Although I have to pry it out of her, we talk about it and how it makes her feel and how she should remember the feeling so she doesn't hurt others in the same way.  The Golden Rule is the best rule out there and, unfortunately, sometimes we learn how not to act from being hurt by others.

Words can hurt.  I can attest to this.  We all can.  I will always remember the most hurtful words said to me.  They don't bounce off like the saying goes.  They stick to us like glue even if we try our hardest to forget them.  Sometimes there's truth in them, and you can learn from this by becoming more aware of how your own behaviors affect others.  Other times, someone is simply being mean and you have to learn from their mistakes.  I don't know why she or he chose to say that, but I'm not the kind of person who would purposefully hurt someone with my words.

Fifth grade is a tough time.  Junior high and high school are around the corner though, so I fear there are tougher times ahead.  Heck, even at my age people are still hurting others.  I'm never going to figure out why so I should stop trying.  I am trying my best, though, to help Elizabeth deal with these incidents.  However, I suppose you have to walk through a few rough situations in life to become stronger.  Sometimes people aren't nice to you or they willingly choose to wound you or take advantage of you.  The thinner your skin, the worse it hurts.  She's a lot like me when it comes to sensitivity, so I'm not the best at teaching her how to let something roll off her back.  I hope we can figure it out together.