She was driving her seven year old daughter to a new friend's house, reminding her to use her manners. "Then, because Sara's always in the back of my head now, I told her that if they are playing and they find a gun that she should leave it where it is and go tell an adult." Great reminders. Totally support all that. When they arrived at the house, Jill was telling her daughter good-bye and said, "Now remember what we talked about," referring to using her manners. Her daughter responded with, "I know. I won't touch a gun. I'll go find an adult."
Jill was mortified because her daughter said it right in front of her friend's father. She began to feel embarrassed, but the dad said, "Oh that's a good thing to tell her. We do have guns, but they're locked up." Jill responded that they did too--yay for common interests and safety precautions! He said, "I never thought to ask about that," even though Jill didn't really ask. He continued, "That's a good thing to ask."
I admit. The hardest time asking is the first time. But most parents care--or should care--about the safety of their children over anything else in the world, so they won't be offended. If they are or if they aren't forthcoming with information when you ask about unsecured guns in the home, well then that's a big red flag to me. When this dad reacted the way he did (or didn't react, really), Jill saw firsthand that it's not the big deal we make it out to be in our heads. Like I honestly admit in Be SMART presentations:
When I find myself anxious about asking another parent whether or not they have unsecured guns in their home, I remind myself...what's the worst that can happen if I ask? A mom or dad thinks I'm weird or gets offended and we have five uncomfortable minutes together. But what's the worst that could happen if I don't ask? Yeah. So then I ask.
And now Jill will ask. And it sounds like that guy will ask in the future. And hopefully you will ask, too. Remember, we're not asking to sit in judgement. It's not about the gun; it's about how it's secured.
1 comment:
Very timely. A few days ago a three year old shot herself to death with a gun she found in her own home. The family is very close and very religious and there have been no reports of what happened. For the family, they have not been able to come back home due to the circumstances. This is the fourth death from unsecured firearms in the state and follows 7 each of the past two years. So to those who chant "guns don't kill, people kill". Well, guns do kill. That is there purpose and function.
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